and what should be a required life lesson (total mastery of which is mandatory): just because you've been hurt does NOT make it ok to hurt someone else.
A former friend is obviously hurting deeply. What other reasonable explanation could there be for the fact that she has viciously been lashing out at everyone who doesn't kowtow to her selfish desires? When someone actively attempts to demean, damage, and flat out wound other people deeply, it seems pretty obvious that she cannot possibly be happy herself. Ironically, this behavior, though, I can forgive. Or at least I can forget it. It is not worth my concern.
It is those who are not so blatantly wicked - those whose mental states are reasonably normal and are not suffering from psychoses - who pack the most powerful punch. They are the ones whose inconsideration and excuses create real damage.
When one is hurting deeply, it is essential that one realize that focusing on the feelings and needs of others can not only help one to forget one's own problems, but can actually make one feel better - feel needed and of value. But focusing solely on oneself can cause one to be careless, inconsiderate, selfish, and irresponsible.
I trusted someone who perhaps hadn't earned my trust, and I got hurt. Same old story.
What has changed, though, in the back forty is my response to this situation. I am fabulously capable now of moving on. If nothing else, my agonizing past experiences have taught me that life is too precious to waste sulking over a broken heart. I knew the risks, and though I hoped for the best, I am now quite adept at dealing with the worst. And so I reaffirm that I will continue to be attentive to the needs and wants and feelings of others despite having learned - AGAIN - that men are mostly selfish, and I will continue to tend my own garden and decorate my own soul.
As I write this, Little Man is snuggling on my lap. What more do I need to remind me of true love, anyway?
